Tuesday
September 6, 2011
It takes about 30-40 mins. to drive up to BridgeStone from our house, so we had a good while to talk about how we felt as a family regarding adoption. The girls kept saying: I love Oleg, I think we should adopt him; I love Artem, I think we should adopt him; I love Sasha, we should adopt him; I love Anton... We finally had to tell them that we're not looking at adopting puppies here, these are people & we can't adopt all of them. Its not easy to explain to children why we can't just have them all. So we stated discussing who we loved and felt like would fit into our family well. I said lets see if we can all just agree on one & then we'll go from there. Oleg, my sweet boy with the ear infection, we all love him & know he would fit into our family well. Ok, we definitely agree on one. Now, anyone else? Sasha, we all love Sasha. He is so bright & kind & we really would like him to be part of or family. But then there's Anton, Sasha's brother, we love him too. The only problem is he doesn't want to be adopted. Sasha & Anton still see their father sometimes & Anton is not ready to sever that relationship. What do you do? Adopt one without the other? I don't think we can do that, but Sasha says he wants to be adopted, even if his brother isn't. We will definitely have to talk about this tonight at the meeting. Ok, anyone else? The other Oleg (or Darkleg as we called him b/c he has tan skin). We love him too & from the moment we arrived at BridgeStone he and Bill had a special connection. Without him saying a word, we all know where BIll stands on Darkleg. Alright, is that everyone? Artem. We all love Artem, but he also is resistant to the idea of being adopted. He hasn't really bonded with Bill & I, but he is forming a connection with the girls - especially Hayden. Ok, we'll ask about Artem at the meeting too.
We drop the girls off at Centerpoint to hang out with the boys while we go to the meeting. Its all about the paperwork, home studies, passports, etc... We talk for an hour or so & then the orphanage director wants to say something. Normally a lawyer from Ukraine comes with the group and he gives you info about the child/children you're interested in and then if they're clear to be adopted. If everything checks out and they are clear for adoption you get to ask them if they want to be part of your family. Well, the lawyer didn't get to come this trip b/c he was completing several adoptions in Ukraine. The orphanage director explains (through an interpreter) that she will answer question about the boys, but she doesn't want us bringing up adoption with the boys. If we are interested in a child/children, she will ask on your behalf when they return home. She feels it will be less stressful on the boys. It was like being asked to step out of the room while your own child is being born.
Finally the meeting is over and its time to go sit privately with the orphanage director and ask about the boys we're interested in. We're about to bust we're so excited! We sit down and through an interpreter we begin to ask about Oleg, my sweet boy with the ear infection. She says a lot in Russian. She keeps looking at us apologetically. We're on the edge of our seats waiting to hear what the interpreter says. Its not good news, he's not available for adoption. I feel like I'm going to melt into my chair and the room is spinning. How can this be? How could God let me love him so and then say we can't have him. I am absolutely heart broken. He wasn't my only love at BridgeStone, but he was my 1st. He was the one that opened my eyes, taught me I could love a child that wasn't a baby. He showed me that it was possible to totally love a child you didn't carry within your own body.
Bill took over a lot of the rest of the meeting. I tried to listen well b/c there were still other children we loved and may need homes. But do I really want to know? What if all the ones we've become attached to are also not available for some reason? What about Sasha? She says yes, he is a fine boy and he wants to be adopted. What about his brother, Anton? She thinks he still doesn't want to be adopted. What did she think we should do, separate them? She can't give us that answer. We know this is something we'll have to pray about. What about Darkleg? Yes, he's also a fine boy, but he is not "intellectual'. What does that mean? Does he have a learning disability? No, she doesn't think so, just a little slower than the others. She worries it may be harder for him to learn English. What about Artem? The last time she spoke to him, he still didn't think he wanted to be adopted. WOW, can this woman tell us anything good? We leave the meeting in a daze. We had talked all the way there about who we wanted, which ones we loved, and who would fit into our family. This wasn't supposed to turn out like this.
It was hard leaving that night. Lots of tears and hugs. I felt numb.
September 6, 2011
It takes about 30-40 mins. to drive up to BridgeStone from our house, so we had a good while to talk about how we felt as a family regarding adoption. The girls kept saying: I love Oleg, I think we should adopt him; I love Artem, I think we should adopt him; I love Sasha, we should adopt him; I love Anton... We finally had to tell them that we're not looking at adopting puppies here, these are people & we can't adopt all of them. Its not easy to explain to children why we can't just have them all. So we stated discussing who we loved and felt like would fit into our family well. I said lets see if we can all just agree on one & then we'll go from there. Oleg, my sweet boy with the ear infection, we all love him & know he would fit into our family well. Ok, we definitely agree on one. Now, anyone else? Sasha, we all love Sasha. He is so bright & kind & we really would like him to be part of or family. But then there's Anton, Sasha's brother, we love him too. The only problem is he doesn't want to be adopted. Sasha & Anton still see their father sometimes & Anton is not ready to sever that relationship. What do you do? Adopt one without the other? I don't think we can do that, but Sasha says he wants to be adopted, even if his brother isn't. We will definitely have to talk about this tonight at the meeting. Ok, anyone else? The other Oleg (or Darkleg as we called him b/c he has tan skin). We love him too & from the moment we arrived at BridgeStone he and Bill had a special connection. Without him saying a word, we all know where BIll stands on Darkleg. Alright, is that everyone? Artem. We all love Artem, but he also is resistant to the idea of being adopted. He hasn't really bonded with Bill & I, but he is forming a connection with the girls - especially Hayden. Ok, we'll ask about Artem at the meeting too.
We drop the girls off at Centerpoint to hang out with the boys while we go to the meeting. Its all about the paperwork, home studies, passports, etc... We talk for an hour or so & then the orphanage director wants to say something. Normally a lawyer from Ukraine comes with the group and he gives you info about the child/children you're interested in and then if they're clear to be adopted. If everything checks out and they are clear for adoption you get to ask them if they want to be part of your family. Well, the lawyer didn't get to come this trip b/c he was completing several adoptions in Ukraine. The orphanage director explains (through an interpreter) that she will answer question about the boys, but she doesn't want us bringing up adoption with the boys. If we are interested in a child/children, she will ask on your behalf when they return home. She feels it will be less stressful on the boys. It was like being asked to step out of the room while your own child is being born.
Finally the meeting is over and its time to go sit privately with the orphanage director and ask about the boys we're interested in. We're about to bust we're so excited! We sit down and through an interpreter we begin to ask about Oleg, my sweet boy with the ear infection. She says a lot in Russian. She keeps looking at us apologetically. We're on the edge of our seats waiting to hear what the interpreter says. Its not good news, he's not available for adoption. I feel like I'm going to melt into my chair and the room is spinning. How can this be? How could God let me love him so and then say we can't have him. I am absolutely heart broken. He wasn't my only love at BridgeStone, but he was my 1st. He was the one that opened my eyes, taught me I could love a child that wasn't a baby. He showed me that it was possible to totally love a child you didn't carry within your own body.
Bill took over a lot of the rest of the meeting. I tried to listen well b/c there were still other children we loved and may need homes. But do I really want to know? What if all the ones we've become attached to are also not available for some reason? What about Sasha? She says yes, he is a fine boy and he wants to be adopted. What about his brother, Anton? She thinks he still doesn't want to be adopted. What did she think we should do, separate them? She can't give us that answer. We know this is something we'll have to pray about. What about Darkleg? Yes, he's also a fine boy, but he is not "intellectual'. What does that mean? Does he have a learning disability? No, she doesn't think so, just a little slower than the others. She worries it may be harder for him to learn English. What about Artem? The last time she spoke to him, he still didn't think he wanted to be adopted. WOW, can this woman tell us anything good? We leave the meeting in a daze. We had talked all the way there about who we wanted, which ones we loved, and who would fit into our family. This wasn't supposed to turn out like this.
It was hard leaving that night. Lots of tears and hugs. I felt numb.
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